I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
