You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
