I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
