its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
