I wannas sexs uuuuu
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
