do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
