I have demons in me.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
