I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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