he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize
