He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
