you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
