I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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