So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
