It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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