i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
