Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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