I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
