You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
