But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
