Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Randomize
