woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
