They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
