I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
