Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I didn't shave. On purpose
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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