My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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