these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
