I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
