I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
