Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
My ATM looks so different sober.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
