The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
