The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
