Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
