i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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