Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Randomize
