if you like me you must not know who I am
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Success! We fucked roommates!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
