You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
