me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
