Jerry, you need to find god
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
