BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
