i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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