I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
