Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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