was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
