this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
