that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
