plz talk dirty to me
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
her vagine was all disorganized.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
