i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
