I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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