you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
