Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
