Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
