Your tits are I can't wait for
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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