Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
