Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
