Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
This house was built for laser tag.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
