You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
