he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
