There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
